


Fire Night #2

by walkthatlonesomevalley



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28812540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkthatlonesomevalley/pseuds/walkthatlonesomevalley
Summary: Sue and Austin attempt to have a normal night but life is not so simple for them.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson & Susan Gilbert Dickinson, Emily Dickinson/Susan Gilbert Dickinson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 74





	Fire Night #2

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fire Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28794090) by [walkthatlonesomevalley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkthatlonesomevalley/pseuds/walkthatlonesomevalley). 



> this is an alternate retelling on the story i previously posted - i wanted to flesh it out a little more and get a different perspective on it 
> 
> also, i had only watched 1 episode of the new season so i assumed that austin and sue were already having sex which is apparently not the case in the show
> 
> WARNING: THERE IS BLOOD & VIOLENCE IN THE BEGINNING ON THIS SHORT

**Fire Night #2**

(Alternate POV)

  
  


Nights in the new house were surprisingly peaceful. Too bad it was the peace that Sue did not know what to do with. Her life had been an endless pattern of waiting for the next ax to fall. Whenever things went well there was always a price for her. To get used to true peace was a hard task, indeed.

In the quiet, Sue had nothing but time to dwell and to think. If Emily was around, it would be different. Emily had a mind like a fire, always growing and calming in a way that made a person want to sit and stand witness.

If she was more like Emily, she might ponder on wild things. And, of course, she might write. Emily acted like she might never ever have enough time to do the things that she wanted to do, write the things she wanted to write.

Truth was, Sue really envied her in that. Moments without Emily were pure agony, they stretched on and on like an endless supply of yarn or a carriage ride from hell. And it only made it worse that Emily was close by and Sue could not see her. It was a new brand of torture. One Sue never had the time to anticipate. Sue had taken for granted all the free time she and Emily used to share. All happiness came with a price. This new mourning period was now hers.

Sue had been trying. Trying to avoid Emily. Trying to ignore the strong way that she felt.

The missing had been so much that Sue got it in her mind that maybe if she stopped reading Emily's letters and stopped seeing her altogether, maybe then she could find some sort of happiness in her new life with Austin. 

It had been easier while she was away. It was easier for Sue when actually seeing Emily wasn't physically possible. At least then, the dullness of the day seemed a definite instead of a choice.

Sue had been reading books about cooking and about fashion. She'd been practicing her new piano, the one that Austin picked out and bought.

And then of course, ever since their wedding they had certainly had a lot of sex.

It wasn't bad for Sue but sometimes she found she would only initiate it out of boredom or restlessness. And often in the middle of all the commotion, and all the trying, Sue would close her eyes and she'd think about Emily still.

It had gotten to the point where Sue honestly wondered, if she didn't think about Emily, could she even, you know… would the pleasure even come?

In her heart of hearts, Sue knew that the answer to that was definitely no.

But tonight had been one of those nights. Sue had been trying to busy herself but nothing was helping or sticking. Out of frustration and what at the time felt like unfounded and unnatural anger at Emily, Sue had locked all of Emily's poems away in a trunk. On nights like tonight, the trunk called out to her like it was a drug. Like if she could only get to it and open it up, she could have the love she knew she wanted. Even if it was only words, it was still Emily, it was still love. 

In a way, that trunk was driving her mad. She needed to get over her friend. She needed to stop thinking about her. It hurt too much to know how much she'd been hurting Emily.

And why couldn't she think of anything else? It was always always Emily. Even now, when she knew, she had been trying to avoid the thought of her and push all those powerful memories away.

"Wow," Austin panted. His eyes and hands traveled over Sue's skin. He had large hands but they were still soft. But he wasn't like Emily, not that Emily really touched Sue that much. Sue had always felt a little greedy with her. Like she was the one who almost always initiated the more sexual touch. "What were you reading?" Austin smiled. 

"Nothing," Sue smiled. He'd been sitting up on his bed, relaxing in their room with a few chapters of Bleak House to keep him occupied. 

Nearly out of nowhere Sue had crawled up upon his lap and taken her nightgown completely off so that she was naked.

Austin noticed that lately she'd been more into their intimacy. It excited him but also worried him. He was worried that Sue would never be happy. That she would get bored of him. And that she could never recover from the harsh truth of losing her family. Austin never really registered that Sue was honestly in love with someone else. At times he was jealous of Emily. Jealous of how much Sue enjoyed her. But a relationship like that, between two women? To him it couldn't be even remotely the same.

Sue knew he didn't know. And Sue knew that she couldn't tell him. It would break Austin's heart. Even if he didnt understand. Even if it had always been Emily. Always, always, forevermore...

_ But then, Sue is perfect, _ Austin thought. She's beautiful and sexy. She's the sweetest person that Austin had ever met and ever known. Well, next to his sister Lavinia, but Sue also had a quiet temperament in contrast, a cunning wit that seldom showed. She shared so little that Austin could feel her mind working when she didn't talk. And he liked that. He enjoyed that mystery. Of course, he didn't know that her thoughts weren't about him.

He often worried that he might never figure her out. But then he remembered how nice she always was and how perfect to be his forever wife. Emily loved her so he too should love and protect her and choose her as his own. Sue had always been part of the family.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the wall as Sue used his body, her panting and cries growing and growing as his lips turned up into a smile.

Austin didn't know it but Sue was now remembering his sister. Sue had tried not to at first. She wanted to feel something, anything, since her mind was a mess. 

She had taken him inside of her and as she moved her mind took her down a path of it's own. All the memories of Emily's mouth and Emily's lips. Where Austin's hands smoothed and grasped, Sue imagined them as if they were Emily.

As soon as she started to think about her best friend, Sue's entire body shivered in pleasure and she quickly came. 

"Wow," Austin panted. He'd long since opened his eyes and watched as Sue experienced what he could only describe as a small slice of undeniable ecstasy. 

It made him feel handsome and useful. It made him feel like Sue must really love him, despite how confusing things had been from the time he suggested the marriage to even now in their home alone where they were for sure wed. 

Sue had confided her fears about motherhood. But she hadn't held back. Not since Christmas. And everytime he came in her, Austin would remember her goodness, her honesty, and her fears.

Sue smiled, coming out of her mind and hugging her body to his.

It wasn't the worst, being married to Austin. It was a lot better than living in fear of who might come to her room and what she might be forced to do if she was impoverished. He was a sweet man. But he could never be Emily.

"That was nice," Austin panted.

"It was," Sue said, but a big part of her knew that it was only nice because she'd been imagining things. 

The older she became, the less of herself she felt she could share with others and that was a terrible thing.

Living next door to Emily like this, and both of them having so many secrets, it ate Sue up inside. Especially at night.

She crawled off of Austin. Then she moved to her side of the bed where she knew she would lay and try to let it all go for the day.

Less restless, but still with her mind on her friend, Sue let herself settle in. Since she had done something sexual, the craving to sneak off to her trunk and read of Emily's thoughts had dulled enough to make her feel grateful in her life for one moment, at least this one.

Austin stayed up, content, he ran his fingers through Sue's hair and concentrated on his current chapter of Bleak House. It was something that everyone in his family loved to keep up on and talk about. Everyone except for his father, of course. His father did not exactly know how to really let go and have fun. 

He kept on reading in the dim light as his wife slept with her head in his lap. 

After a while, they both succumbed to their own calm cocoon, slipping off into the world of dreams where they both had separate visions. Austin dreamed of going to the circus, with Emily. Emily was always goading him into adventures and he found he actually missed her lately. 

Sue's dream was not as pleasant or as light. But she too was with Emily. They were walking in a graveyard in Boston where Sue knew Emily had never been. Sue clung to Emily's arm and remembered how lonely she had felt on her last trip to Boston. It was almost like the ghosts of Boston were out to get her but Emily herself was always brave and almost unaware.

When something woke them, they both sat up in the night. 

It was the sound of glass, glass shattering. 

And then a scream. 

They both knew it. That voice. It wasn't just anyone's scream, it was Emily's.

Sue stared at Austin with panic on her face. They both scrambled to get up and go see, get up and check, to make sure that a burglar or a criminal hadn't entered the neighboring house with intentions on harm.

Austin was out the door before Sue could even throw her clothes back on. He kept a rifle in the hall cabinet, and yanked it out before running to see. As he neared the house he stared up at Emily's window and heard the loud sounds of abuse and destruction. The noises of things being thrown and Emily scared and crying.

He burst through the door without knocking and flew up the stairs as if Emily's life now depended on his.

What Austin saw when he opened her door instantly enraged him. It was his dad, his own father. "STOP THIS!" Austin yelled. He was on him quickly, yanking him away from Emily so hard that he dropped his gun and threw his father back against a neighboring wall. 

What Austin has seen would scar him for life. Emily had been hurt badly. Their father had been strangling her as if she were nothing. And all those sounds, they had to of been from him. Him choosing to dim his brightest light.

Tears of rage filled Austin's eyes and he felt an anger unmatched, an anger he wasn't quite sure how to manage. It wasn't anything he ever felt before. Maybe on his wedding night, maybe then he came close but, even so, this was so much more.

His eyes stared in at his father's as his own hand pressed hard against his father's neck. 

No words were shared. Just a similar glare. Anger meeting anger. Warning meeting warning. And then he saw it, a tiny spark of actual guilt in his father's stare.

Emily was on the ground, still and quiet. Austin knew he needed to see to her and get her out.

He pushed against his father's windpipe and wondered what on earth could have happened to make his father act this way. 

When he let him go, his father bent over and gasped. Then there was coughing.

Austin paid him no mind, turning instead to his unconscious sister who now had blood, red marks, and bruises on her usually perfect skin. She was so small on the ground, so little when compared to himself and his dad.

Shaking, and knowing that he was going to cry, Austin scooped Emily up off of the ground and began to carry her out of her room and back with him toward his home. 

His parents were always unfair toward her. Emily was the loudest of all of them, clearly the wildest, and she paid a heavy price for that, one that Austin knew was unfair despite it happening all the time.

Sue was outside with a lantern. It had taken her so long to dress. "No," she said, instantly shaking at the sight of her unconscious friend. "What happened?" She asked.

"I'm not sure," Austin muttered. He was sad and confused and he wanted nothing more than to erase what he had seen, to go back in time and reset things.

His family was complicated and he didn't like that Sue had to see.

_ If I was still in that house, father would never _ , Austin bitterly thought.

But he could not change the world. He could not go back and stop what had happened. Emily was too bold for her own good. And his father, too proud.

Austin wept quietly as he brought Emily inside his new house and up to the room they had prepared for whenever a guest would come and stay.

Sue always imagined it would be Emily's room. She always imagined it but once they really moved in she realized how foolish and naive that imagining had been. There was a house right next door where Emily had her own room. Of course Emily would never be able to stay the night. Of course her own imaginings had been a true fantasy.

"She's bleeding," Sue said, noticing the blood and the cuts on Emily's face. "Oh god," she quivered with sadness. The red marks. All the bruising. "I'll need a towel and some water," Sue said. "A salve. And some bandages."

Sue wasn't sure why it happened this way. Austin had been so great at stopping things and grabbing Emily. It was only a matter of seconds from the crashing sound and Austin returning with his sister in his arms but Sue stared down on Emily and touched her forehead.  _ How long… _ Sue wondered.  _ How long was I not there while you were being hurt… _

Austin hurried down the steps and fetched some water from the barrel they kept in the back of the kitchen. He was shaken and mad. He would have to talk to his father but right now he knew if he went back there it wouldn't be just words on his end. Austin would want to hurt him again.

He filled the bowl and tried not to notice the blood on his hands. Emily's blood.

It stained the water and he coughed a sob out of his throat since there was no time right now to be sad. Emily still needed him.

Upstairs Sue had been distracted by the marks. There was blood on Emily's leg. It ran down in a vibrant red stream. 

Sue lifted up Emily's nightgown to try and find the source and Austin popped right back in.

"Here," Austin said, bringing Sue the bowl. He set it down on the nightstand and looked to Sue with an expression of shock that she had never seen on him. 

"I'll need to undress her," Sue said. "You don't have to stay."

"Oh!" Austin realized. "Yes. Right." It would be wrong of him to stay. Propriety and all. Nevermind that he and Emily used to sneak off and swim naked together in a neighboring lake. Beside himself, Austin mustered a small smile at such a pure memory.

He touched Sue's back and the small moment of physical connection made him calm just a bit.

"Should I run for a doctor?"

"No," Sue said, looking back at him. "Not yet, at least. I'll stay with her."

"Okay," Austin nodded. In a way it was a relief to know Emily was safe and with Sue. 

Sue cared more about Emily than anyone Emily had ever known. And Austin trusted her. 

He backed outside of the room and quietly shut the door. 

Sue stayed, her breath shaky. It was only then that she discovered exactly how badly Emily's father had hurt her. From all she had seen, he had never hurt her in this way.

There had been slaps and hits. There had been light strangling. Sue had seen belt welts and paddle marks on Emily's butt and her back.

But this was different. There was something far more sinister about this particular attack. 

Men often lashed out against women. Sue had heard and seen so many things.

But Emily…

Emily was more protected in her world. Only her father had ever hurt her this way and this was too much.

"My beautiful girl," Sue said, speaking to the sleeping body as she smoothed the wet rag up Emily's leg. 

The cuts were in odd places but they were luckily small. It looked a lot worse, especially the blood on Emily's face.

Sue was cleaning her and worrying. Then Emily woke up and Sue felt her heart pick up and beat like a drum. 

"Wha- wha-"

"Shhhhhh," Sue smiled sadly. It was a curse to be so happy to see her even at such a horrible time. Emily had just been hurt badly and Sue could still not resist a smile of relief at Emily's waking. 

The imaginary world of Emily's, it wasn't only there for fun. Emily purposely dwelled inside of it and Sue was keenly aware of her reasoning. Avoidance was one of the only defense mechanisms truly awarded to a woman in a time of great stress.

Things like this. A life like this. Always being restricted. Always being told how to be and what to do.

Sue’s heart ached for Emily. Sue’s heart ached because Emily had so much to share and to give.

“You’re safe,” Sue said. She had noticed Emily’s fear and the way her hands seemed to search for someone else’s about her neck.

When Emily realized she was safe she then started to cry. And if there was anything that could break Sue it was Emily’s pain. Her own pain, she could handle, but Emily’s she could not bear.

She rushed to comfort Emily, to let her know that she was there. Sue wasn’t sure what Emily was thinking and that really frightened her. She pulled her own nightgown off and crawled into the bed with her. “I’m here,” Sue said, wrapping Emily up in her arms. “You’re safe. I’m here.”

Emily shook but she clung to her like she used to and Sue felt her body alive with the want that always came when Emily touched her at all, especially in this sweet way.

When Emily’s sobs were harder Sue let go of her thoughts and simply told her, “I know…”

Sue had been hurt before and she knew that the pain was real. 

But then, “I’m sorry,” Emily said. And it broke something in Sue. Broke her so hard that she wanted to break down and cry all over. Why should Emily be sorry? Whatever for? For being a perfect human in such a disgusting world? For being the only person who met ugliness with beauty? The only person?

Sue felt an anger then, and also guilt. There was no world in which Emily should be apologizing to her. That’s how Sue felt. 

Emily was apologizing because Sue had shared that it had become too hard to see Emily and too hard to think about her. 

“I always want you,” Sue reminded. And in her heart she felt an ache of sadness that threatened to eat her alive.

In her attempts to forget, she had hurt her friend, really hurt her. 

“I’m so sorry, Emily.”

“Maybe I should die,” Emily shared. Never one to keep a thought to herself. And Sue was glad that she knew where her friend was at, even if it was a terrible place. 

“No,” Sue said, concrete. She was taking that option away.

“I can’t believe I hurt you,” Emily said. “That I was hurting you and I didn’t know.”

“It only hurts because I can’t have you. It’s like a living death.”

“Oh,” Emily said. And Sue wondered if she explained it well, if there was perhaps a better way. 

It was clear that Emily didn’t know. She didn’t know that it was killing Sue inside to not have her in her bed.

“I don’t want to make you feel things you don’t want to feel…” Emily said.

Sue had to laugh. She had to. Emily had just been hurt so badly and here she was still obsessing about their less serious drama. The thing that could not kill them, not really. It could not draw blood like her father had done.

Sue smiled upon her. “It’s just like you to be worried about my feelings when you’re the one who almost died.”

Emily smiled at that and it warmed Sue’s heart in a way she hadn’t felt in a long long time. 

The last time they had shared a good moment, it was before Christmas that night. Since then Sue had been pining and wishing, hoping to stop herself from ruining lives and hurting her friend.

Emily’s smile dropped and she started to confess some new things. All of which were scary for Sue. Sue had never met anyone who thought about death just as much as she herself did.

“It scares me when you speak of death this way.”

Sue couldn’t take it when it was Emily. She had lost every person she really loved. Every person except Emily and Emily was always so close to being lost.

“I’m sorry,” Emily said. 

“No,” Sue said. “I still want to know. What you think. You still have to tell me.”

Emily swallowed and stared into her. The silent watching always turned Sue into mush.

“I have to go away,” Emily choked.

The words were sharp and they hurt Sue. None of these words had been expected. Emily always threw Sue for a loop with her thoughts.

“I can’t stay here,” Emily voiced. And Sue thought about the night and what had happened. She thought about the way these beatings had become more intense and more irregular.

“George has written about California-”

As Emily spoke, Sue felt her eyes closing and her brain drifting away. The mere thought of Emily leaving was enough to debilitate her.

Emily rambled on and Sue couldn’t hear it. All she could muster was a very distant, “You’re leaving me…”

It was inevitable. It always was. Everything good in this world was taken away. 

Tears dropped out of Sue’s eyes and she tried not to feel any of it.

“You married my brother,” Emily cried. The stark reminder of such a betrayal pulled Sue right back into her reality. 

“I’m sorry,” Sue wept. She would never stop apologizing for such a huge and immeasurable thing.

“No, no. It’s not like you were given a choice in this world,” Emily reminded. She hadn't said it to hurt her. It was almost like it was just setting in now what had really happened. Emily was just now coming to terms with their new life.

“You should go,” Sue realized. And it wasn’t a painful admission but a realization that Emily could have died tonight. 

“Really?”

“Mhmm. It’ll help you,” Sue thought. “It’ll settle things. But you have to come back. Once you're famous he won’t be able to deny you then. He won’t. So, promise me.”

If she promised to come back Sue wouldn’t be as scared. They had enough hope between the two of them to raise a whale from out the sea.

“What? Oh Sue! Of course, I’ll come back. I couldn’t not see you.”

“I know,” Sue laughed. Emily loved to love her. It was one of the reasons Sue knew she was the only person on earth who could ever truly please her.

“I love you more than I love anything in this whole world, Emily Dickinson.”

Something came over her. Something strong and joyful. Something important and needed. And then there was lust. 

Sue climbed ontop of Emily and kissed her hard as her body rubbed against hers and she felt herself cum on Emily’s soft and wonderful stomach.

It was swift and intense. All Sue ever needed with Emily was but a moment to feel good things.

Emily’s hands touched on Sue’s body so sweet.

Sue pressed Emily’s fingers, forcing them to be stronger and harder for her. Forcing Emily to indulge in the things that she wanted, not hold back, and never regret. 

They were laughing while crying and soon they would fall into kissing which would last for several sweet hours until the sun rose again.

For the both of them, the night was absolutely priceless despite it’s cruel violence. Nothing, which was to come, could make them forget how strongly they truly loved for one another. Nothing could erase it or change it and there was nothing in the world more important to either of them than just that.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i'm in love with sue....


End file.
